6 questions every Hawaii transplant wishes their mainland ohana would stop asking

It’s innocent, comical ignorance at its best. Here are the most frequent and ridiculous questions my friends back on the Mainland ask me about Oahu.  Hopefully this can save others embarrassment in the future! Spread awareness! 


  1. Can I use my cell phone in Hawaii/to call you, or will there be long distance fees? Oh dear. Are you asking because you think we still live in tiki huts and don’t have any cell service, or because you think Hawaii is a foreign place? This one always makes me giggle. Worries aside, friends, you can use your cell phone free of long distance charges when in Hawaii, or when calling to Hawaii. (Let me back up, you do know Hawaii is part of the United States, right?)
  2. I’m coming to Hawaii! Where are the bungalows? I can’t find any. Sorry, that’s Tahiti.
  3. Which island should I go to? Legitimate question, and I’m impressed that you know the state is comprised of an island chain; some people only ever hear of Oahu and Maui and they assume that’s it. There is so much more to Hawaii, and each of the major islands are incredibly beautiful; but they are also incredibly different. This makes it impossible for me to answer this question for you.  You’ll have to do some research. Once you’ve chosen your paradise,  then I’d be happy to give you tips on what to do there.
  4. OMG, are you watching the season finale? Nope, I’m still six hours behind you on Hawaii Standard Time. Please don’t spoil this for me.
  5. Why are you so pale? If I were you I’d be at the beach every day! Please, just stop saying this. You would not be at the beach every day if you lived here, unless you worked as a lifeguard. One of the most annoying misperceptions held by Mainlanders is that people of Hawaii don’t work – that we are on one big vacation. We work, if not more than you do, just to afford the price of paradise.
  6. I mean, you live in Hawaii though, so can you really complain? Yes, actually, I can and I will. There are stressors and pitfalls to living in paradise as there would be living anywhere else. Let me complain when I need to, even if my complaint is that it’s too sunny here! (It’s a valid complaint when you grow up with seasons, people).  

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