The myth of the perfect kiss

I love inspirational quotes. The cheesier the better. My coffee table book called “Be Happy” is filled with words of optimism. So, unsurprisingly, I follow similar platforms on social media. I came across a graphic on Instagram posted by @thegoodquote that said:

If you don’t get excited when you’re about to kiss someone then you probably shouldn’t be kissing them. It should get you riled up inside and should not be mediocre.

Well, that’s cute, I thought. Wait. On second thought, that’s total bullshit. 


More than 120,000 people liked it, and counting. I get it – the search for that intangible chemistry with someone – the butterflies – but what is so wrong with kisses that don’t sweep you over the moon every time? Hear me out, hopeless romantics.

First kisses are exciting. We are nervous, emotional and hopeful. My husband gave me those butterflies when we first kissed, and this excitement continued when he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. But fast forward six years through a wedding and a baby on the way, and we don’t exactly feel giddy every time we kiss now.

And I love it.

Instead, when he kisses my forehead, I feel comforted. When he kisses my nose every morning before work, I feel adored. When he kisses my cheek with a big hug after a long day, I feel safe. When he kisses me on the lips and tells me he loves me, I feel complete.

The perfect kiss is so much more than lust and excitement. It is commitment. It is comfort. It is adoration. It is security. It is a real connection.

Sometimes we get so swept up in first kisses, we overlook the beauty of forever kisses.

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