pregnancy and parenthood

You know you’re pregnant when …

It really is a whole new world in motherhood … 

  1. Eating is polarizing. It either brings extreme joy if it’s a craving, or brings serious disgust if it is an aversion.
  2. You can smell things within a 10-mile radius.
  3. Going to the doctor becomes a regular part of your schedule, and the first thing you do is say hello and give a urine sample.
  4. You can’t get enough water no matter how much you drink.
  5. You think your baby’s ultrasound picture is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, even though the pictures kind of resemble a growing alien. You will even frame it or scrapbook it.
  6. Your friends and family no longer greet you by your name – it’s always “Hey Mama.”
  7. People look at you as a fragile feather, opening doors for you when you’re still waddling half a mile away. Part of you wants to tell them how you still have arm strength, but the other part of you smiles and loves the princess treatment.
  8. For once, you’re focused on gaining weight rather than losing weight.
  9. One second you’re cold, the next second you’re overheating.
  10. Everyone can hear you breathing because you sound like a monster between baby kicking your lungs and reflux making you burp.
  11. Never has your exercise regimen been so focused on your “pelvic floor.”
  12. Your dog or cat won’t leave your side.
  13. You need naps like never before, but forget sleeping through the night.
  14. You add dozens of words to your vocabulary, mostly about childbirth, which none of your non-pregnant friends can relate to whatsoever. But mention it to a fellow mother, and find yourself in a deep discussion exchanging intimate birth stories. If you weren’t close before, you are now.
  15. You also pick up on acronyms – EBF (exclusively breastfed) CD (cloth diapering) LO (little one). You need these acronyms for the 100+ new Facebook groups you’ve joined.
  16. Everyone asks when you are due – a question you start to hate and run from.
  17. You fear going out in public for too long in case you won’t find a restroom when baby decides to dance on your bladder.
  18. You’ve never heard more wives tales in your entire life as you have in these past nine months.
  19. Rubbing your belly becomes a daily habit.
  20. As a newbie to the scene, you hear about scary “Mommy Wars” like it’s a real battle scene from a movie, and you do everything you can to stay far, far away.
  21. You grow a thicker skin and become much more confident in your own voice, if you weren’t already, after one too many invasive questions and pieces of unsolicited advice.
  22. Shopping becomes stressful and you actually wish you had fewer choices for your baby.
  23. You start paying more attention to coupons, online promo codes and discounted subscription services.
  24. You never realized how many work-from-home business opportunities there were until now as old friends reach out with all kinds mom-friendly products that they sell.
  25. Your partner has never been more amazing and more frustrating at the same time.
  26. You suddenly grow weary of ingredients in anything and everything – food, drinks, detergents, soaps, cleaners.
  27. You start to panic less and less at the onset of odd, new symptoms, recognizing by the third trimester that pregnancy literally affects every part of your body and it’s just part of the fun ride.
  28. You constantly struggle with finding a balance between getting prepared and relaxing, understanding that at the end of the day, nothing can fully prepare you for what’s to come.

 

What would you add, mamas?

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