You only have so many fucks to give when you become a mother. This blog I read put it so well – Parents Have Fewer Fucks To Give.
This has perhaps been the biggest adjustment for me since becoming a mother because I used to give a fuck about EVERYTHING even if it killed me. I would overwhelm myself in my work, my relationships and with myself – overanalyzing and constantly taking on more than I could chew because I care so much about everyone else’s feelings and their perceptions of me. The thought of saying “no,” or letting things slide was just not in my DNA.
But that is simply not possible in parenthood, where there are not enough hours in a day to care about everything and everyone. It’s a hard adjustment to make in sorting out how many fucks you can give. That’s why I cried happy tears when I saw the trailer for “Bad Moms” – a hilarious take on the insane amount of pressure mothers face today to be perfect.
Surely this pressure is nothing new, but then again I think much of it is. My mom and other parents a generation ahead constantly say things like “I wish I had the resources like you do as a mother today.” But, seriously, it comes with a tradeoff. From Dr. Google telling you conflicting advice (See this funny but true blog New Study on Eating Fish While Pregnant Proves Pregnant Women Should Not Read Studies) to thousands of variations of baby gear that require workshops just to figure out how to use – at some point we have to stop giving a fuck about all this shit and unapologetically do what works for us, whether it’s being a baby wearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapering mama or a formula feeding, sleep training, disposable using mama.
And when we find our groove, we have to remember not to give whatever fucks we have left to those who will criticize us for the fucks we chose to give.
It’s the “Bad Moms” parenting approach, I guess you could say. Cheers to all my fellow mamas rising above the stress that comes with modern parenting. We only have so many fucks to give.