This second month has been mostly about me. Physically, I have recovered from childbirth, which has given me the energy to step into motherhood without the crutch of others’ help. It has been a whirlwind of an adventure that has deepened my one-on-one connection with him. The way he grips my finger and melts in my arms because I’m his mama is an insurmountable love.
I’ve learned more about myself this past month than I have in a long time. As much as I prepared for becoming a mother, none of it really mattered until now; how I thought I would feel and what type of parent I wanted to be – it’s neither here nor there. Ivan has taught me that I can’t plan my life meticulously like I always try.
This month has been full of trial and error, sampling all different types of baby gear, trying quirky tricks and tips to soothe his cries, adjusting to errands and outings with a poop machine attached to my boob – a true juggling act.
It is messy and tiring, but it is also the happiest I have ever been.
This sense of fulfillment is the most surprising. When I was pregnant, I worried how I would cope with transitioning from a fast-paced career woman to a stay-at-home mom. I feared that I would lose the reward and purpose I had found in my work. I can officially put that worry to rest; motherhood has fulfilled me more than anything I’ve ever done. I still hold other goals and ambitions, and I’m currently volunteering and consulting in my field, but it’s different. Motherhood has helped me to see things in a new light. I am content, and this pours into everything I do now. I’m still competitive, diligent and persistent, but I’m also more flexible, understanding and patient.
As for the little man, he is growing before my eyes. He is now “cooing” and following toys with his eyes, swinging his hands at objects and smiling socially at mom and dad (not just when he poops!) He loves to be in constant motion, whether it’s in his swing, in mommy’s arms, or in his car seat – but walks in the stroller are hit or miss.
Apparently, he is too cool for pacifiers and bottles, defiantly refusing both. I’m actually finding it enjoyable – pumping, storing the milk, prepping the bottles, and cleaning the parts was a hassle. Even though I don’t have the freedom to leave the house solo, I don’t find that to be a burden – yet. *knock on wood* … For me, pumping was proving to be more of a burden.
Daddy is doing great, taking the brunt of the night shift. Thankfully, though, the night shift is easing up. All of us are sleeping much more these days. In fact, this week he slept a miraculous 7-hour stretch. Needless to say, I woke up in a panic totally shocked!
Oh and this 15-pound chunker is now sporting 6-9 month sized baby clothes! What?!
Likes: Ceiling lights and fans, mobiles, the noise of the shower running, noise of the vacuum, any type of motion – especially being held while bouncing on the exercise ball, warm baths, punching and kicking like a professional boxer, and sitting on the porch.
Dislikes: Pacifiers and bottles, baby nail clippers and filers, taking medicine, saline nose drops, wearing hats, lying flat, getting dressed, and tummy time.