2017: the year of sitting still

This is the first resolution that I’m wishing for a lesser year. And I mean that in the best way. 

When I think about the past five years, they have all been centered around adding something major to my life.

2013 was the year I chased my dreams in Hawaii and launched my career. 2014 was the year  I planned a wedding in six months and married my best friend. 2015 was the year that we got pregnant, drove across the country and moved East Coast. 2016 was the year I gave birth to our son and stepped into parenthood.

We’ve been blessed.

Still, my husband and I are somewhat used to this rapid pace of adding to our lives. We keep dreaming and planning. We want more kids, and sometimes I think we are insane for thinking we could manage multiple littles so close in age with looming deployments that would leave me solo parenting. Plus, there is a seven-and-nine-year difference between me and my siblings; so back-to-back kids is a bit foreign to me.

Right after you give birth – and I mean, right after – your midwife or doctor will talk to you about birth control. I laughed, interrupted, and loudly declared how this labor was strong enough birth control that we would never be doing any of this again.

Here we are eight months later, longing for the newborn phase as if it was a magical time. Staring at pregnancy pictures as if it was a glamorous nine months. Recounting our birth story as if it was rainbows and butterflies. Ha – it’s funny how your mind rewrites history.

And so here we are again, in this place of seeking growth – wanting more. The old me would be racing to this next life goal. Plotting a timeline and trying to plan it meticulously. But, frankly, for once, I simply have no control over this goal. Breastfeeding is a form of birth control, as it turns out, (no really, it is – another thing that no one tells you until you go through it firsthand). As excited as we would be to add to our family, my body is still very much in the throes of mothering one baby.

This has forced me to stop racing from one life goal to the next. I’m not planning anything, for once. I’m reflecting. I’m truly living in the present.

If 2017 is the year of baby No. 2, it will be nothing short of another blessing. But, if 2017 is the year of no-new-major-life-changes, it will do me good. I want to be better at truly embracing where I am in life, rather than focusing so much on my future.

I want to carry this theme of “less” into all aspects of 2017 – not just the big life-changing stuff. This past year, our time, money and energy has been swallowed by countless things that we think we need. We’ve lost our once minimalistic way of living that was conducive  to pre-parenthood, Hawaii island living. I want to get back to that and focus more on creating experiences that are centered around things that money cannot buy. I want less clutter, less to clean and therefore less worry.

Sometimes, the best gift is the gift of time – to pause, reflect and relish in the present. My cup is overflowing.

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