For many of us, being a first-time mom is overwhelmed by worry. It’s an adjustment second to none, and just when we think we’ve grown into our new role, our baby grows out of it.
Which is why I absolutely love being a second-time mom.
I’m experiencing motherhood from the start without all of the questions. I didn’t realize how much I had questioned myself with my first baby until I met my second baby. I can hold her without worry and respond without doubt. When questions do arise, the answers are closer within reach.
There is so much more to feel and experience in motherhood now that the urge to analyze has fallen wayside. This isn’t to say that there’s any regret because achieving this kind of calm only comes from opportunities to grow. I know that I was the best kind of mom that I could be to my son at a time when everything was (and still is in toddlerhood) brand spankin’ new.
The only thing I regret is giving stock to the idea that my first born would hold my strongest bond because he made me a mom. Never again would I experience that kind of transformation. There are so many things that reinforce this thought along the way; It’s the jokes about how our second babies get all the shortcuts – less products, clothes, and less of our worry, time and attention.
I remember clinging onto these words that a mom of two said to me when I was pregnant again: your first baby makes you a mom, but your second baby makes you a better mom. I loved this. I just didn’t fully understand the why yet.
I think I’ve finally found the why.
Where there is less of a learning curve, there is room to go higher. There is nothing lesser about motherhood the second time around when we are given double the opportunity to grow.
I treasure the unique bond that I have with my first born, but so much of that bond shared a selfish focus on me as I became a mother. I was splitting my time and energy with my son long before he had to share life with his new baby sister.
The bond I’ve uncovered with my second is freeing. We got to meet at a time in my life where I already knew myself as mom. My learning curve today is richer and more rewarding because I get to spend time enjoying and diving deeper into aspects of motherhood that I previously had to grow into.
My second baby is taking me higher, and that is something that makes me a better mom to both of them.